Travel Advisory: Mind the MoochTravel mooching: many are guilty of it (I’m talking to those of you in the back, trying sheepishly to avoid eye contact). They take that trip to Prague with a friend whose brother lives there and can offer free accommodations; they show a keen interest in visiting those distant relatives with a house in the Hamptons; they call up that high-school classmate they ran into over the holidays to announce—surprise!—that they’re planning to visit the city, but man are hotels expensive. Sound familiar? Few of us have escaped: it’s hard to avoid the advances of a mooch.
Photo courtesy of IgoUgo member vondrejech
In a recent IgoUgo poll, 57% of travelers said they would consider staying with a family member or friend to save money on accommodations; 55% say they have traveled to a particular destination specifically because they knew they had family or friends on whose couch to crash. Even worse, 25% of those who have traveled for free lodging chose not to cite spending time with friends and family as a reason for staying with them. Even more appalling? Moochers (those selfishly motivated 25%) are less likely to keep in touch with their hosts in between visits; they also offer fewer hospitalities to guests who stay with them.
In the spirit of the poll, I started thinking about the times I’ve been mooched. There are those all-too-common houseguests who play dumb when it comes to chipping in for groceries or lending a hand for housework. There was the friend who planned to stay with me on his way home from a summer working as a camp counselor upstate; he arrived with 4 friends (whom he announced over the phone while on his way to my apartment) who brought all their sweaty camp gear up to my small city apartment and then cycled in and out of my shower for the rest of the afternoon. Two of them stayed for 3 days, and to top it off, my friend ran out of money while they were there, leaving me to pay for his meals for the rest of the trip (did I mention I was between jobs at the time?). And let’s not forget the long-lost friend who came to stay with me and ruined all my hand towels with her facial hair bleach—but never mentioned it, even though the damage was clear (shame on me for not speaking up).
How to avoid falling into the mooch trap? First, set clear boundaries on who you’ll allow to stay with you, for how long, and under what arrangements. Do it before you get that groveling email or phone call from a friend or cousin with whom you haven’t spoken in months. Then, stick to it: tell the seeker of a week-long stay that you’ll be out of town, that you’ll have others staying with you, or just that the timing isn’t good (after all, it’s your home—you aren’t obligated to say any more than that). If you do accommodate a couch-crashing request, be clear about what the visitor should bring (A sleeping bag? Towels?), and be prepared to ask nicely if your guest would like to, say, accompany you to the grocery store to pick up snacks and breakfast food for his stay (then go and do your own shopping while he does that). Of course, the best guests won’t need to be asked, but they’re few and far between.
Want to read more half-hilarious, half-disturbing accounts of travel moochers gone wild? Head on over to the IgoUgo Travel Blog for some of the worst stories you’ve heard (follow it up with a look at the Ten Commandments of Couch-Crashing, to be sure it’s not you who’s the mooch). And by all means, leave us a comment and tell us about your most horrifying mooching story, or to give us your recommendations for curbing mooching behavior.
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Comments
Fascinating! I only stay with close friends or family. And I always, always, always shower them with presents! Plus, I try to keep the visit short or at least spread it out between several friends.
After living in NY and now living in SF, I know how hard it is to have people stay with you.
I wonder if I can casually forward this blog to a few people...
I've figured out the perfect anti-mooch system: I have a tiny apartment, no fold-out couch, and a cat who thinks nothing of walking on top of a sleeping guest in the wee hours of the morning. Plus, there's a lovely B&B that's just around the corner.
I think it's great when people stay with friends or family during their travels--it makes the vacation all the more local and authentic.
Having been burned before, though, I think communication is key. I limit my house guests to close friends and family, and try to be as clear as possible about rules and expectations!
We have anyone and everyone as house guests but everyone gets the host a present; we do it when we are staying with someone. And also the guest takes the host/host's family for at least one brunch or dinner to a restaurant. Also when staying with someone, when we go out for grocery shopping, at least once the guest picks up the whole tab.
And trust me, even after doing so much, you still haven't spent half the money that would have been spent on a hotel room
I love having house guests...just not for too long! Since moving to San Francisco, it seems that everyone just misses me soooo much that they want to come visit. (Errr...or do they just want to visit my exciting new city? Now I'm starting to feel used!) I recently had someone ask me if they could come stay for a month! What?! My response: I'm traveling a lot these days, but maybe you could come visit for a weekend while I'm here.