The Window Seat: Travel in Numbers

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It’s hard to say those three little words. You may have been friends for years, or perhaps you’ve only just met. You might be constant companions, eating meals together, going to parties together, and spending rainy Sunday afternoons side by side. You may have even met each other’s families or shared a holiday together. But it’s those three little words that truly put your friendship to the test: “Let’s travel together.”

Watch one episode of The Amazing Race, and you’ll see how interpersonal dynamics can affect a trip. Of course, most of my trips don’t involve racing other travelers to shovel two pounds of caviar into my mouth or corral a herd of unruly cattle, but I’ve weathered my fair share of travel drama.

As a traveler who arrives at the airport with just enough time to check in and board, I’m a nightmare companion for anyone who actually abides by their airline’s timing recommendations. And as someone who prefers to identify what I’d like to see and do in a destination, then just see or do it when the inspiration strikes, I can’t think of anything that kills a trip more swiftly than traveling with a compulsive scheduler. Make that more than one compulsive scheduler, and I’ll be inclined to “accidentally” miss my flight altogether—which brings us to the ultimate in traveling-with-friends challenge: traveling with (gasp!) a group.

If you’re like me, group travel strikes fear into your wanderlusting heart, especially if some are first-time travel companions. How to avoid heartache and make the most of travel in numbers? First, agree on some ground rules. What kind of accommodations will work best, and who will handle the arrangements? If a car rental is required, who will drive? And once you’ve arrived, how will the group interact? Will everyone have the freedom to see and do things independently, or will you go with an all-or-nothing approach?

Finally, get in the mindset. Let your companions know how you like to travel, but be flexible about accommodating others’ preferences. After all, opening up to new experiences—and new perspectives—is a core part of travel, and who knows what new interests you might discover? I never would have taken a bird-watching tour in the Caribbean, gone to an opera in Prague, or paid $2 to see an up-and-coming punk band in a warehouse in Santa Fe on my own, but all three are among my favorite travel memories. Tell us about your group travel experiences or how you got to know a new side of someone through traveling together. And, if you haven’t yet, say those three little words to someone special in your life.

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